Mother & Daughter VÒNG TAY CỦA CUÖNË SACÁ H NAYÂ ÀÛÚCÅ XUÊTË BANÃ THEO HÚPÅ ÀÖNÌ G CHUYÏNÍ GIAO BANÃ QUYÏNÌ ÀÖCÅ QUYÏNÌ TIÏNË G VIÏTÅ TRÏN TOANÂ THÏ Ë GIÚIÁ GIÛAÄ TACÁ GIA Ã JACK CANFIELD & MARK VICTOR HANSEN - TÊÅ P ÀOAÂ N XUÊË T BAÃ N HEALTH COMMUNICATIONS INC., HOA KYÂ VAÂ CÖNG TY FIRST NEWS - TRÑ VIÏÅT, VIÏÅT NAM.
Biên dịch: First News Tái bản lần thứ 7 VÒNG TAY CỦA Mother & Daughter
The reunion My kids knew something was up the minute I took a phone call during dinner and failed to return for three hours. After twentyfive years of wondering and praying, that long-awaited call finally came. To be frank, I can barely even remember what we said. How do you fit twenty-five years of unanswered questions into one conversation? Having learned that she lived less than twenty-five minutes from my home, we made immediate plans to reunite, the sooner the better. I emerged from the phone call with a very heady feeling and a date to meet her the next evening. My husband knew about Nicole from our first date. I had a very well-developed sense of what I wanted in a life-mate. I knew I would spend the rest of my life with Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 12
Trúã laåi bïn nhau Caác con töi biïët coá chuyïån gò àoá àaä xaãy ra khi töi ài nghe àiïån thoaåi giûäa bûäa cúm chiïìu vaâ phaãi ba tiïëng àöìng höì sau múái quay trúã laåi. Sau hai mûúi lùm nùm thêëp thoãm nguyïån cêìu, cuöåc àiïån thoaåi maâ bêëy lêu töi chúâ àúåi àaä àïën. Thaânh thêåt maâ noái, töi khoá coá thïí nhúá roä chuáng töi àaä noái vúái nhau nhûäng gò. Chó möåt cuöåc troâ chuyïån nhû vêåy laâm sao coá thïí giaãi quyïët hïët têët caã nhûäng vêën àïì chûa coá lúâi giaãi àaáp trong suöët hai mûúi lùm nùm qua? Khi biïët con beá chó söëng caách nhaâ töi khöng túái hai mûúi lùm phuát ài xe, chuáng töi liïìn lïn ngay kïë hoaåch àïí gùåp laåi nhau caâng súám caâng töët. Töi kïët thuác cuöåc àiïån thoaåi trong traång thaái hïët sûác phêën khñch, cuâng vúái cuöåc heån seä gùåp con beá vaâo töëi höm sau. Ngay tûâ ngaâ y àêì u heå n hoâ , töi àaä kïí cho chöì ng töi nghe vïì Nicole. Töi biïë t rêë t roä mònh muöë n gò úã ngûúâ i baå n àúâ i. Töi biïë t rùç ng mònh seä Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 13
him and felt the need to share with him the story of Nicole. I told him with the hope that she would eventually rejoin my life. I wanted him to know that she would also be joining his. I had gotten pregnant at the age of sixteen, after having been the victim of what is now called date rape. Nicole’s father was nineteen at the time, and I broke up with him immediately after he forced himself on me. My family fortuitously moved shortly thereafter. Having had sporadic menstrual cycles, I wasn’t concerned with the missed periods. I must have attributed the baby’s kicking to gas. Being a healthy teenager, I carried her entirely inside, never showing until a month and a half before her birth. It was Christmas Eve, after an argument with my mom, when she looked at me in a very serious manner and asked if I was pregnant. I was indignant and vehemently denied the possibility. It did give me plenty of food for thought, and a week later, I asked her to take me to the doctor. I’ll never forget her Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 14
Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 15 söë ng vúá i anh caã àúâ i vaâ töi caã m thêë y cêì n phaã i chia seã vúá i anh cêu chuyïå n vïì Nicole. Töi kïí cho anh nghe vúá i hy voå ng sau naâ y Nicole cuä ng seä trúã laå i vúá i töi, vaâ töi muöë n anh biïë t rùç ng àiïì u àoá coá nghôa laâ con beá cuä ng seä tham gia vaâ o cuöå c àúâ i anh. Töi mang thai vaâo nùm mûúâi saáu tuöíi, sau khi bõ cûúäng hiïëp búãi chñnh baån trai cuãa mònh. Vaâo thúâi àiïím àoá, cha cuãa Nicole múái mûúâi chñn tuöíi, vaâ töi chia tay anh ta ngay sau khi anh ta laâm caái viïåc êëy vúái töi. Khöng lêu sau àoá, gia àònh töi chuyïín nhaâ ài núi khaác. Vöën coá kinh nguyïåt khöng àïìu, nïn töi khöng quan têm lùæm khi khöng thêëy chu kyâ cuãa caác thaáng sau. Töi cûá àinh ninh nhûäng cûã àöång cuãa àûáa beá trong buång laâ chuyïån bònh thûúâng cuãa cú thïí. Vöën laâ möåt thiïëu nûä khoãe maånh, töi cûá mang àûáa con trong buång maâ khöng ai biïët, maäi cho àïën möåt thaáng rûúäi trûúác khi sinh. Vaâo àïm Giaáng Sinh, sau khi töi tranh caäi vúái meå töi, baâ àaä nhòn töi thêåt kyä vaâ hoãi rùçng coá phaãi töi coá mang hay khöng. Töi vö cuâng phêîn nöå vaâ kõch liïåt phuã nhêån. Nhûng àiïìu meå töi noái khiïën töi phaãi suy nghô, vaâ möåt tuêìn sau töi nhúâ meå àûa ài baác sô. Töi seä khöng bao giúâ quïn neát mùåt cuãa meå khi töi àùåt laåi vêën àïì. Àoá laâ möåt
face as I casually asked the question. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, mustering up enough courage to stop the denial and face the facts. Upon learning that I was indeed pregnant and due within thirty to forty-five days, my parents rallied around me and assured me that they would support whatever decision I made. It wasn’t a hard decision to make, since I really had no bond yet with the baby. I chose to place the baby for adoption. In those days, if the baby was to be placed for adoption, the mother was not allowed to see the child after delivery. Neither was any other family member, but the hospital staff didn’t know my mom. She managed to sneak into the nursery every day of my stay and get as many looks at Nicole as she could steal. As we were leaving the hospital, my mom reminded my dad that this would be his last opportunity to take a look at Nicole. He had not joined my mom on any of her stealthy trips to the nursery. The social workers were scheduled to pick Nicole up from the nursery that day. Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 16
trong nhûäng viïåc khoá khùn nhêët maâ töi tûâng laâm: lêëy hïët can àaãm àïí thöi khöng chöëi caäi nûäa maâ seä àöëi diïån vúái sûå thêåt. Khi biïët töi àuáng laâ àaä coá mang vaâ chó coân möåt thaáng hoùåc möåt thaáng rûúäi laâ àïën ngaây sinh, cha meå töi àaä baân vúái nhau tòm caách giuáp töi vaâ khùèng àõnh seä uãng höå bêët kyâ sûå lûåa choån naâo cuãa töi. Vò luác êëy töi thêåt sûå chûa caãm thêëy raâng buöåc gò vúái àûáa treã nïn töi àaä quyïët àõnh khaá dïî daâng; töi quyïët àõnh cho àûáa beá àïí ngûúâi ta nhêån laâm con nuöi. Thúâ i àoá , nïë u àaä cho möå t àûá a treã laâ m con nuöi thò ngûúâ i meå khöng àûúå c àïë n thùm con nûä a, kïí caã caá c thaâ nh viïn khaá c trong gia àònh cuä ng khöng àûúå c pheá p. Nhûng nhên viïn bïå nh viïå n khöng biïë t mùå t meå töi, vò vêå y möî i ngaâ y baâ àïì u tòm caá ch leá n vaâ o phoâ ng nuöi treã cuã a bïå nh viïå n trong thúâ i gian töi coâ n lûu laå i àoá àïí àûúå c ngùæ m nhòn Nicole. Ngaâ y chuá ng töi rúâ i bïå nh viïå n, meå töi nhùæ c cha töi rùç ng àoá laâ cú höå i cuöë i cuâ ng nïë u öng muöë n nhòn ngùæ m Nicole. Cha àaä khöng ài cuâ ng meå trong nhûä ng lêì n baâ leá n vaâ o phoâ ng nuöi treã sú sinh àïí thùm Nicole. Cuä ng vaâ o ngaâ y höm êë y, caá c nhên viïn laâ m cöng taá c xaä höå i seä àûa Nicole ài núi khaá c. Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 17
Dad unlocked the doors of the car, got us all settled, was about to drive off, then said, “Wait, I’ll be right back.” We waited, and on his return he simply said, “Kathy, she’s beautiful.” I believe it was the hand of God ensuring I never had the opportunity to emotionally bond with the baby growing inside of me. When Nicole was two weeks old, we met at the Social Services office, where I was to spend time with her in a contrived living room setting. This meeting was to ensure that I still wanted to give her up for adoption. They brought her to me and left me there, alone with her, for fifteen minutes. That was a long fifteen minutes. I was a very young woman and terribly frightened I might drop her. I do remember thinking she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, but I knew I couldn’t keep her. We finalized the paperwork, the adoption process was initiated, and as far as we knew, she went to a family in Richmond, Virginia. I returned to school, finished out the year, and we moved at the end of the Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 18
Cha múã cûãa àïí chuáng töi vaâo ngöìi öín àõnh trong xe. Cha àõnh laái xe ài, nhûng böîng nhiïn öng noái: “Àúåi chuát, cha seä quay laåi ngay”. Chuáng töi ngöìi trong xe àúåi cha. Khi quay laåi, öng chó noái: “Kathy, con beá xinh lùæm”. Töi tin rùçng chñnh baân tay cuãa Chuáa àaä sùæp àùåt àïí töi khöng coá cú höåi coá àûúåc möëi dêy raâng buöåc tònh caãm naâo vúái sinh linh àaä tûúång hònh trong chñnh cú thïí mònh. Khi Nicole àûúåc hai tuêìn tuöíi, töi àûúåc gùåp laåi con beá taåi Vùn phoâng Dõch vuå Xaä höåi, núi töi coá möåt khoaãng thúâi gian úã bïn caånh con trong möåt cùn phoâng khaách. Lêìn gùåp gúä êëy nhùçm xaác àõnh laåi xem töi coá coân muöën àem cho con beá laâm con nuöi hay khöng. Ngûúâi ta mang con beá àïën vaâ àïí möåt mònh töi úã àoá vúái noá trong mûúâi lùm phuát. Mûúâi lùm phuát àoá thêåt daâi. Khi êëy töi coân quaá treã vaâ töi rêët súå mònh seä àaánh rúi con beá. Töi vêîn nhúá roä laâ khi êëy töi àaä nghô rùçng con beá laâ vêåt thïí xinh àeåp nhêët maâ töi tûâng nhòn thêëy, nhûng töi biïët mònh khöng thïí giûä noá laåi àûúåc. Chuáng töi hoaân têët caác thuã tuåc giêëy túâ, viïåc nhêån con nuöi àûúåc tiïën haânh, vaâ theo chuáng töi àûúåc biïët thò con beá àaä vïì söëng vúái möåt gia àònh úã Richmond, Virginia. Töi trúã laåi trûúâng àïí hoaân têët nùm hoåc, vaâ gia àònh töi chuyïín nhaâ vaâo Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 19
Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 20 year. I went on to graduate from college and gained a commission as a naval officer. It was there that I met my husband. We married three months after meeting each other, nineteen years ago. We went on to have two children of our own. Throughout the years, not a single day went by that I didn’t think about Nicole, and pray that she had a good, happy and healthy life. On her eighteenth birthday, I put a letter in her adoption file which detailed how to contact me in the event she ever came looking. My husband and parents were very supportive of this. When Nicole decided to search for me, my letter made it very easy. The longawaited phone call had finally come, and my husband shared with me the excitement of the prospect of finally meeting my daughter. The day of the reunion, we sat our boys down and explained the situation. They were wonderfully supportive about it, and asked some frank questions, which we answered very honestly. Excited at the prospect of actually having a sister, they
cuöëi nùm àoá. Töi tiïëp tuåc hoåc àïën khi töët nghiïåp àaåi hoåc vaâ sau àoá nhêån àûúåc nhiïåm súã vúái tû caách laâ sô quan haãi quên. Cuäng taåi àoá, töi àaä gùåp chöìng töi. Sau ba thaáng gùåp gúä, chuáng töi cûúái nhau. Ngaây êëy caách nay àaä mûúâi chñn nùm röìi. Chuáng töi coá vúái nhau hai àûáa con. Trong tûâng êëy nùm, khöng ngaây naâo maâ töi khöng nghô àïën Nicole vaâ cêìu nguyïån cho con beá coá àûúåc möåt cuöåc söëng töët àeåp, haånh phuác vaâ khoãe maånh. Vaâo sinh nhêåt lêìn thûá mûúâi taám cuãa Nicole, töi boã möåt laá thû vaâo trong höì sú con nuöi cuãa con beá, chó roä laâm thïë naâo àïí liïn laåc vúái töi nïëu nhû noá coá àïën xem höì sú. Chöìng vaâ cha meå cuãa töi hïët sûác uãng höå viïåc naây. Khi Nicole quyïët àõnh ài tòm meå thò laá thû àoá cuãa töi àaä giuáp moåi viïåc trúã nïn hïët sûác dïî daâng. Sau cuâng, töi cuäng nhêån àûúåc cuöåc àiïån thoaåi maâ töi àaä mong chúâ bêëy lêu, vaâ chöìng töi àaä chia seã caãm giaác phêën chêën êëy cuãa töi trûúác viïîn caãnh töi seä àûúåc gùåp laåi con gaái cuãa mònh. Vaâo ngaây heån àoaân viïn, chuáng töi baão hai àûáa con trai ngöìi laåi vaâ giaãi thñch cho chuáng hiïíu têån tûúâng moåi viïåc. Boån treã àaä nhiïåt tònh uãng höå chuáng töi. Chuáng coân àùåt ra möåt vaâi cêu hoãi rêët thùèng thùæn vaâ chuáng töi cuäng àaä traã lúâi möåt caách trung thûåc. Phêën khúãi trûúác viïîn caãnh seä coá Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 21
wished me well, gave me big kisses and sent me on my way to my reunion. Nicole and I met outside the church after my choir rehearsal. I will never forget watching her climb out of her Mazda RX7 and just keep going up, up, up. She was tall, she was blond and she was gorgeous. We very slowly hugged each other with the gentleness afforded only the most precious, fragile treasures in your life. The rest of the evening was spent in a cozy restaurant down the street. The waitress was observant enough to realize that something very special was going on, and she prudently left us alone. That night, Nicole told me that if she were to be limited to saying only one thing, she would thank me from the bottom of her heart. “Thank you for having me, for giving me up, and for welcoming me back into your life so warmly and openly.” After twenty-five years, I felt as though a tremendous weight had been lifted, and I remember feeling as though there was Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 22
àûúåc möåt ngûúâi chõ gaái, chuáng chuác töi maånh khoãe, hön töi túái têëp vaâ coân tiïîn töi àïën chöî heån. Nicole vaâ töi gùåp nhau bïn ngoaâi nhaâ thúâ, sau buöíi têåp dûúåt cuãa töi vúái daân àöìng ca. Töi seä khöng bao giúâ quïn àûúåc caãm giaác khi thêëy con beá bûúác ra khoãi chiïëc xe Mazda RX7 vaâ cûá thïë ài lïn, ài lïn vaâ tiïën vïì phña töi. Con gaái töi cao, toác hoe vaâng vaâ àeåp löång lêîy. Hai meå con töi tûâ tûâ öm lêëy nhau vúái möåt sûå nheå nhaâng maâ baån chó coá thïí daânh riïng cho nhûäng gò quyá giaá, moãng manh nhêët àúâi mònh. Thúâi gian coân laåi cuãa buöíi töëi höm êëy, chuáng töi àïën möåt nhaâ haâng êëm cuáng úã dûúái phöë. Cö phuåc vuå nhaâ haâng àaä tinh yá nhêån thêëy coá möåt àiïìu gò àoá hïët sûác àùåc biïåt àang diïîn ra, vò thïë cö àaä tïë nhõ àïí chuáng töi àûúåc ngöìi möåt mònh. Àïm höm êëy, Nicole noái vúái töi rùçng nïëu con beá chó àûúåc noái möåt àiïìu duy nhêët thò noá chó muöën caãm ún töi bùçng têët caã tònh caãm tûâ têån àaáy loâng noá. “Caãm ún meå àaä sinh ra con, àaä cho con ài, vaâ àaä múã röång voâng tay êëm aáp àïí àoán con trúã vïì”. Sau hai mûúi lùm nùm, töi caãm thêëy möåt gaánh nùång khöíng löì àaä àûúåc cêët ài, vaâ töi coân nhúá roä caãm giaác laâ khöng gò hún àûúåc niïìm vui cuãa töi luác êëy khi thêëy Nicole àûúåc bònh yïn, Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 23
simply nothing that could beat the joy I felt at finally knowing she was safe, healthy and had grown up with a very loving family. We went on to spend time together each week. She got to know her new brothers, and she very bravely accompanied me to many outings with our friends, getting to know all the people who are special in my life, as I met all those who were special in hers. My husband took particular pleasure in our reunion since Nicole is almost a mirror image of what I looked like at her age. He loves to go out with us, feeling as though he has the best of both worlds, me at my current age, and me at the age we got married. Even now, more than two years after the reunion, he marvels at the fact that we have the same mouth, smile and laugh. I don’t know if I can ever adequately express the gratitude I owe to her parents for having given her such a wonderful upbringing. They are really two very special people, and I am deeply indebted to them. They welcomed me and my family into their Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 24
maånh khoãe vaâ àaä trûúãng thaânh trong möåt gia àònh àêìy tònh yïu thûúng. Hai meå con töi tiïëp tuåc gùåp gúä nhau möîi tuêìn. Nicole bùæt àêìu laâm quen vúái caác em trai múái cuãa mònh. Con beá cuäng maånh daån ài cuâng töi àïën caác buöíi gùåp mùåt vui chúi coá caác baån beâ cuãa gia àònh chuáng töi, laâm quen vúái nhûäng ngûúâi thên vaâ quan troång trong cuöåc söëng cuãa töi, vaâ töi cuäng àaä àûúåc gùåp têët caã nhûäng ngûúâi coá yá nghôa àùåc biïåt àöëi vúái con beá. Chöìng töi rêët vui vò sûå àoaân tuå cuãa meå con töi, vò Nicole gêìn nhû laâ möåt têëm gûúng phaãn chiïëu hònh aãnh cuãa töi khi töi coân úã àöå tuöíi cuãa con beá. Anh êëy rêët thñch ài chúi vúái chuáng töi, nhû thïí anh êëy coá àûúåc nhûäng àiïìu töët àeåp nhêët cuãa caã hai thïë giúái - vúái baãn thên töi úã àöå tuöíi hiïån taåi vaâ töi khi vûâa múái lêåp gia àònh. Ngay caã bêy giúâ, khi meå con töi àaä àoaân tuå àûúåc hai nùm, anh êëy vêîn coân ngaåc nhiïn thñch thuá vò chuáng töi coá caái miïång, nuå cûúâi vaâ tiïëng cûúâi giöëng nhau àïën thïë. Khöng biïët bao giúâ töi múái coá thïí baây toã hïët loâng biïët ún cuãa mònh àöëi vúái cha meå nuöi cuãa Nicole vò hoå àaä dûúäng duåc con beá hïët sûác chu àaáo. Hoå thêåt sûå laâ nhûäng con ngûúâi rêët àùåc biïåt, vaâ töi chõu ún hoå sêu sùæc. Hoå chaâo àoán töi vaâ gia àònh töi vúái voâng tay röång múã hïåt nhû khi hoå Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 25
Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 26 lives with the same open arms that welcomed Nicole. The card her mom gave me for Mother’s Day that year said it all: “I truly believe children are gifts from God, on loan, for us to raise to become independent and assets to society. Ever since we adopted Nicole, you have been in my thoughts - each February 17, but especially on every Mother’s Day. So, Happy Mother’s Day, not only have you found a daughter, but a best friend.” And to her, I also say thank you. Kathy N. Jublou Gratitudeis not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others. - Cicero
Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 27 àoán nhêån Nicole vêåy. Têëm thiïåp maâ nùm êëy meå cuãa Nicole tùång töi nhên Ngaây Cuãa Meå àaä noái lïn têët caã: “Töi thêåt sûå tin rùçng treã con laâ moán quaâ cuãa Chuáa, laâ moán quaâ maâ chuáng ta vay mûúån, vaâ chuáng ta coá nghôa vuå phaãi nuöi daåy chuáng àïí chuáng trúã thaânh nhûäng con ngûúâi àöåc lêåp, laâ taâi saãn quyá giaá cuãa xaä höåi. Kïí tûâ ngaây chuáng töi nhêån Nicole laâm con, töi àaä luön nghô àïën chõ, vaâo möîi ngaây 17 thaáng 2, vaâ àùåc biïåt laâ trong Ngaây Cuãa Meå. Chñnh vò vêåy, chuác mûâng chõ nhên Ngaây Cuãa Meå, khöng chó vò chõ àaä tòm thêëy con gaái, maâ thïm vaâo àoá coân laâ möåt ngûúâi baån töët”. Vaâ àöëi vúái baâ, luác naâo töi cuäng muöën noái lúâi caám ún. Kathy N. Jublou Loâng biïët únkhöng chó laâ àûác tñnh cao quyá nhêët, maâ coân laâ nguöìn göëccuãa nhûäng àûác tñnh khaác. - Cicero
Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 190 MUÅC LUÅC Introduction 6 Lúâi giúái thiïåu 7 The reunion 12 Trúã laåi bïn nhau 13 Always a Mother 28 Vêîn luön laâ Meå 29 The world’s worst mother 30 Ngûúâi meå keám coãi nhêët thïë gian 31 A secret for Mom 34 Àiïìu bñ mêåt daânh cho Meå 35 Monkey bar courage 42 Loâng can àaãm cuãa con 43 Happy birthday, baby 46 Chuác mûâng sinh nhêåt, con yïu 47 Making memories 56 Taåo ra kyã niïåm 57 An angel in disguise 66 Thiïn thêìn caãi trang 67 Certificate of graduation from childhood into adolescence 80 Bùçng töët nghiïåp tuöíi thú 81
Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul 191 Who’ll water my tear-drops? 88 Ai seä tûúái cho nhûäng cêy nûúác mùæt cuãa töi? 89 A cup of coffee 100 Taách caâ phï 101 A fib and the matinee 112 Lúâi noái döëi vaâ buöíi chiïëu phim ban chiïìu 113 A mother listens 120 Ngûúâi meå luön lùæng nghe 121 If I could be a Mother again 126 Nïëu meå laåi àûúåc laâm Meå 127 The gift 134 Moán quaâ 135 Running role model 144 Caá nhên tiïu biïíu trïn àûúâng chaåy 145 Lullaby for my Mother 156 Baâi haát ru cho Meå 157 Mom SAID/She MEANT 160 Meå noái/ Coá nghôa laâ 161 Hold your head up high 174 Haäy ngêíng cao àêìu 175 Vïì taác giaã vaâ sûå ra àúâi cuãa Chicken Soup for the Soul 182
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